


A Visit from Elf Nolan

by TVTime



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Poetry, Humor, M/M, Parody, Rhyming, Thiam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:20:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28298853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TVTime/pseuds/TVTime
Summary: Nolan, a mischievous Christmas Elf, pays Liam and Theo a visit on Christmas Eve. Parody of the classic poem,A Visit from St. Nicholas ('Twas the Night Before Christmas)'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the lairNot a creature was stirring, not even a were;Baubles and gifts, splayed beneath the cedar,Awaiting the dawn to bring joy their receiver;And Liam and Theo nestled all snug in their bed,While visions of PS5s danced in their heads;Gadgets and mystery boxes, subscriptions and media;Even Theo’s latest creation would soon be on Wikipedia;When out on the lawn a clamorous cackling came,Liam jolted awake, his fury already aflame;Away to the window he sprang with a roar,This intruder best leave or end up quite sore!Streetlights flickering off the pristine snowy grass,Bathed in a yellow glow that noisy jackass;That former fanatic, that perpetual pest!“Nolan, fuck off! We’re trying to rest;”...
Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken
Comments: 23
Kudos: 11
Collections: TVTime's Thiam Stories





	A Visit from Elf Nolan

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas and happy holidays everyone! I hope you enjoy this little humor piece.

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the lair  
Not a creature was stirring, not even a were;

Baubles and gifts, splayed beneath the cedar,  
Awaiting the dawn to bring joy their receiver;

And Liam and Theo nestled all snug in their bed,  
While visions of PS5s danced in their heads;

Gadgets and mystery boxes, subscriptions and media;  
Even Theo’s latest creation would soon be on Wikipedia;

When out on the lawn a clamorous cackling came,  
Liam jolted awake, his fury already aflame; 

Away to the window he sprang with a roar,  
This intruder best leave or end up quite sore!

Streetlights flickering off the pristine snowy grass,  
Bathed in a yellow glow that noisy jackass;

That former fanatic, that perpetual pest!  
“Nolan, fuck off! We’re trying to rest;”

Theo laced languid limbs ‘round his lupine lover,  
While a glowering golden glare he granted the other; 

With a wink and a wave the boy did beckon,  
“Let me in now or wake the neighbors I reckon.”

From saggy green slacks he bore a big silver bell;  
Clingy, clangy! Ringy, rangy! – it was like Christmas hell!

Theo covered his ears and Liam bellowed a bleat,  
As like clockwork lights flickered to life on their street;

On Adams! On Bakers! On Coopers! On Jameses!  
Now Richmonds! Now Bradys! Now Portnoys! Now Simmonses!

Amid curses and shouts, Thiam dashed to their door;  
Flung it open and– Liam paused. “Is that Velour?”

Nolan hitched up his pants and straightened his shirt;  
“Why yes. I’m freeballing, and anything coarser would hurt;”

Plush fabric adorned his body, from his head to his foot,  
Green cap, a red shirt, and pants that could scarcely stay put.

A huge empty sack he had flung on his shoulder,  
As he appraised their belongings like a credit-holder;

His eyes—how they twinkled! His freckles, deceiving!  
His grin belied mischief! His fingers, thieving!

Away with their lamp. Farewell to Alexa;  
He pilfered the pudding. And a card from Aunt Tessa;

Theo caught his arm. Liam fondled his sack;  
“Nolan, stop this at once. Give us our things back;”

He bristled. “I’m a holiday elf! These trinkets a mere tribute.”  
They brandished their claws. “Leave at once, or your blood we’ll redistribute.”

With a sigh he turned for the door,  
But not without making off with one final score;

A skip and giggle as he bounded from the house with glee,  
For when he left, he carried away their brand new flat screen TV;

The beta’s blood boiled. “I’m gonna stalk that sneaky fucker!”  
“Relax, little wolf. No need to bluster.” Theo pecked Liam’s pucker,

“This is Beacon Hills, so I added the extended warranty;  
“We’re covered for everything, even acts of elven banditry.”

And they heard Nolan shout, ere he drove out of sight—  
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

“…Alexa, order me some candy cane print boxer briefs.”


End file.
